** Bumper Stickers ** //These are all actual bumper stickers seen on American highways Auntie Em. Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy. We're staying together for the sake of the cats. It's been lovely, but I have to scream now. My karma ran over your dogma. Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition. This is not an abandoned vehicle. I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily. Beautify Texas. Put a Yankee on a bus. Welcome to Texas, now go home. It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you. If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own. Life's too short to dance with ugly men. Life's too short to dance with ugly women. My wife says if I go fishing one more time, she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her. When you do a good deed get a receipt (in case heaven is like the IRS). I is a college student. Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off. Beer isn't just for breakfast any more. Sorry, I don't date outside my species. Eschew obfuscation. Will Rogers never met a lawyer. Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's face on the back of a milk carton. It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. Don't steal. The government hates competition. Is there life before coffee? Never play leap frog with a unicorn. Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m. Cover me. I'm changing lanes. The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful. I Cayman went. My other wife is beautiful. I need someone really bad. Are you really bad? Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips. Don't laugh. Your daughter could be in this vehicle. Nuke the unborn baby whales. Geez if you belive in honkus. Friends don't let friends drive naked. Save California; when you leave take someone with you. I came, I saw, I did a little shopping. There's one in every crowd and they always find me. If money could talk, it would say goodbye. When you're in love, you're at the mercy of a stranger. Just when you think you've won the rat race along come faster rats. If it's too loud, you're too old. Wink. I'll do the rest. The worst day fishing is better than the best day working. An Irishman is not drunk so long as he can hold on to one blade of grass and not fall off the earth. Cynics are people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing. I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight. Who cares who's on board? Die Yuppie Scum. No radio. Already stolen. Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it. Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister. Carlsbad Caverns: 22% more cavities. Exxon Suxx. Honk if you love cheeses. Flying saucers are real, the Air Force doesn't exist. I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be. So many pedestrians, so little time. Honk if you're illiterate If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will accidentally shoot their children My kid can beat up your honor student Fight crime, shoot back Impeach the President. . . and Fire Bill, too Guns don't kill people postal workers do. If I'm driving funny its probably becuase I'm drunk. Gun control means using both hands! It's not how you pick your nose, it's where you put the boogers. If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk! Jesus loves you! (everyone else thinks you're an asshole!) Jesus is coming, look busy! JESUS SAVES... But Gretzky gets the rebound, he shoots, he SCORES!! My wife's other car is a broom. Go ahead and honk. I'm reloading. Good Girls Go To Heaven, Bad Girls Go Everywhere. Zero to Bitch in 4.0 Seconds I like cats, they taste just like chicken. I don't suffer from insanity...I enjoy every minute of it! Horn broken. Watch for finger. I got this motorhome for my wife....BEST deal I ever made! 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